Megan's Experiences with the Military

so...
i apply for peace corps, and peace corps requires a medical examination. i don't have a doctor or health insurance, but i find out that i can get evaluated for free by the military! so, i go to an army recruitment center.

SAMPLING OF EXPERIENCES AT ARMY RECRUITMENT CENTER

"so, you're applying for peace corps? do you have any interest in joining the army?"
"um, probably not"
"because if you were interested in ever joining the army, you should know that after you go into peace corps you are no longer army eligible."
"really? why?"
"well, because peace corps is an extremist group."
"... huh. it's actually a federal program, run by the US government. it's a government organization."
"right, but it's an extremist government organization."
"huh. yeah, but, i mean, there's no political agenda for peace corps. just... cultural exchange and service to communities."
"yeah, but that's what i mean. it's extremist... because it's extremely nice."
"huh."
...
"so, you indicated your weight here, but what about this maximum weight part? i don't think that's right."
"right, i didn't know what that meant so i put the maximum weight i've ever weighed."
"ah, yeah, that's wrong. maximum weight means the maximum allowable weight for army eligibility. let's see here... [consults chart]... yeah... you're 10 pounds over. i mean, for army. ... i mean, you're probably fine... for peace corps"


after being told by the army that i am a fat extremist, i am ready for my appointment. i wake up at 4am this morning and use a bike/MAX combo to get to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) next to the airport, where i am processed starting at 5:30 am with 20 recent military recruits. like them, i am yelled at frequently.

SAMPLES OF ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR BY MEPS PERSONNEL
[in speed mumble] "how old are you today?"
"i'm fine, thanks"
"how OLD, how OLD ARE YOU TODAY?"
"what? oh, sorry, i'm 27"
"have you enlisted with the army before?"
"nope"
"what was that?"
"...no, uh-uh."
"YES or NO please. have you ENLISTED IN THE ARMY before."
"no"
"get your hands off the counter"
"yes, sir"

then i sit through a 2-hour armed forces-related presentation which instills a sense of discipline, fear, and a sense that anything could go wrong at any time unless i am constantly alert. my blood pressure is taken, to my horror, by a woman who looks and acts CREEPILY similar to the horrible Patience Tolentino of Concepts in Community Living, in horrible Clackamas. she is rude. she then watches attentively as i pee into a cup.
my eyes and ears are checked, and i have a brief consultation with a doctor.
then, the horror.
the "females" in the group, myself included, are herded by "Patience" into a room where we strip down to our underwear and stand in a line. one girl is near tears because she is forced to reveal her stretch marks and appendectomy scar. we tiptoe, we squat, we parade one-by-one through the room in our underwear. my underwear are old and, i fear, see-through. we squat again with our knees in the air and do a rolls-of-fat-inducing "duck walk" through the room.
demoralizing.

"Patience" watches, as well an even ruder girl with a heart tattooed behind her ear. the nurse practitioner is also there, and she is blessedly nice.

throughout the day, i hear a number of comments like, "hey, when are we going to get our special-issue weapons? you know, BAM! BAM!" or "i'm joining airforce. that's the one where you drop out of a plane and just shoot everyone you see."

one guy also says that he is so mad at Eve (of Adam & Eve)--and is mad by extension at women generally--for eating that apple which now makes it necessary for everyone to wear clothes, which means he doesn't get to see naked women walking around all the time. everyone laughs.

MEPS hasn't seen a peace corps applicant come through in probably 3 years.
i feel like maybe i make them almost as uncomfortable as they make me.



my forms appear to be complete and in good order! so. one painful step closer to africa.

seems high time!

for another authentic blog post.

here is the most recent picture of me ever taken!



that is now a lie!




you might note the continued long length of my hair. now, with layers! i have taken to washing it with plain bar soap, with favorable results.

but of course, this is not the stuff of my life. the stuff of my life is listed below.

1. continuous disappointments with self
2. room full of carpet-crawling ants, periodically annihilated en masse by vacuum
3. zero romance
4. musical explorations
5. continued french studies
6. continued satisfying work experiences (though some sixth grade girls are BITCHES)
7. moods which seem maybe to oscillate with the weather
8. lack of direction
9. paying big bucks to the IRS
10. listening to podcasts
11. bike riding
12. picture taking
13. the occasional doldrums

i don't know. i really don't know right now what i am doing/what is up with me.

will i spend my day off tomorrow working on these long feared but never yet confronted peace corps essays? i certainly hope so.
will i wake up at a decent hour? god permitting.
will i eat well and do any exercise besides biking? time will tell.

and so it is with me.

i love you all.
let us all move forward as best we can!

new and better

in lizinks,
please see links to sergio's camera photo blog as well as mine.

photo blog

so, not that i've been at all keeping up with this blog, but i've started another blog of sorts that is just a place i can send my cell phone pictures.

to see pictures of stuff i do/people i see, visit: viewasicon.tumblr.com.
sergio has one of these pages too and i took the idea from him. but i can't remember what his URL is!

i also have a music video to post on this here blog just as soon as i can get permission slips from the kiddos' parents at the school.

in other news, i'm not depressed at all anymore, and mason is a distant and unimportant figure from the past.

cheers homies,

megan

sigh

there's this guy i've been hanging out with through my school job who is funny/interesting/nice/flirty. he seems to think i'm so great and he wants to hang out all the time. so i'm like, yay.
but then last night at this party he was like, "oh your friend jonny works at the pete's where i get my coffee. there is a hot girl who works there, and i want to ask him about her." and he's made a few other comments about girls around me, and he seems to be telling me, "let's be friends, awesome megan."
i'm feeling really depressed today. i feel deflated and unmotivated and lame. additionally, i'm feeling lame for feeling so lame. i would like to think i am premenstrual but i am not.
and it's not just the dude, who is probably not so great anyway. it is the confirmation of my self-diagnosed "cool girl" syndrome, which is the female version of the "nice guy" syndrome. fucking sucks and i hate it.
um, but i'm sure i'll feel better later.
love from depresso-land,
megan

reflections part III

time for another reflective email. (inspired by mercedes' and micha's recent blog posts). (ahem, tara).

i'm at the fine grind, where i was scheduled to work from 12-4. it's kind of dead here so they're not having me work after all, or at least until later if people suddenly flood in.

i have some things to do/read so i'm taking the opportunity to overcaffeinate myself on an americano and contemplate peace corps essays/avoid writing peace corps essays by instead blogging about them.



so, peace corps essays. a couple of things about them. 1) i don't feel like writing them. 2) once i write them, there will be nothing in the way of me submitting my application, at which point i will be a peace corps candidate, at which point they could accept me at any time and take me away from portland and all my friends.

so... i just really don't want to work on my application.

but this is the thing. i have always been a super active high-achieving ambitious type. and i look at where i am right now, especially in light of rumors of others' accomplishments at the UN, or in Cambodia, or at a NYC AIDS clinic, or wherever, and i think: what?? i never pictured myself still being kind of lost, and working at a coffee shop, at age 26. but also, i hear about others' fancy jobs/educations and i know that i don't want to do those things. but basically if i stay in portland, i will never do anything, and my fun life will not look so cute when i am 35.



for whatever reason, peace corps seems like the obvious way out. for one thing, i am then busy for 2 years doing something respectable and exciting, and am freed of all responsibilities for planning for my future for those two years. and, better, i plan to become a better/more able/more focused/more skilled person during those two years. i will surely come back with an established and inspiring sense of self and purpose. and language skills. right??

i'm feeling a little tight-chested. though, that could be caffeination. it's telling me that's spelled wrong but i don't believe it. so, a weird thing that is happening: americanos make me feel twitchy but lattes don't. why? why??



ok, another thing in the works (hanging menacingly overhead). moving! from the blivion! there is talk of, and serious talk of, and in fact planning for, tara and i moving from the blivion into some house in NE with taya and silvija. the blivion's final death cry will soon sound. WHAT ABOUT DORK CLUB?? it will shriek. tara and i will lower our heads and murmur:
honey, dork club died a long, long time ago.

this website seems cool: http://www.airtightinteractive.com/projects/related_tag_browser/app/

images from it are somewhere in this post

BC

this is a rushed post from a cafe on salt spring island, british columbia.
british columbia feels a lot like oregon, or washington. i see what they are saying about cascadia. artificial political boundaries, etc. the only thing that seems really different is money- the prices are weird (expensive) and the money is weird (canadian).

we're meeting some of my mom's hippy coffee shop friends and they are actually pretty funny. they are all talking about astrology and precious stones and spirit signals and stuff, but in a good way. i would probably get tired of it eventually but luckily i'm just here for a few days.

here's a picture of the coffee shop:


and of me:


my brother is driving me (and everyone) kind of crazy. MAJOR control freak. jesus christ. (exactly.)

love
megan